I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Randomize