i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
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