do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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