Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
