I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
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