If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
