Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
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