and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
