That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Randomize
