It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
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