The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize