nut hugger
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
