it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
