If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Someone signed my nipple.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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