I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
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