If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
