As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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