yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
