I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
