doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
