my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
my god I love twenty year old dicks
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