Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
My vagina just recognized that song.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
