All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
