My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
