listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
