You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
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