I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
