if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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