She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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