I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize