She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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