I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
