just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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