you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
