i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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