it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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