I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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