Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
