i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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