no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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