that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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