would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
