I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
