I wish i was in the wii world.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize