You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
