come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
