I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
