if only i could text you this smell
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I love you. Go after that dick
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Randomize
