I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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