VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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