So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
