So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
