what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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