A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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