We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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